A lot of us fear to say no when something you don’t want to do is given because it makes us feel selfish, guilty or sometimes embarrassed. We don’t want people to think badly of us or upset them by saying “no”. Sometimes it’s just easier to say yes in order to avoid the difficulty and discomfort. But is this behaviour good for us?
Saying “yes” when we mean to say “no” is a recipe for exhaustion and overwhelm. We give up our power and control and disrespect our needs by making them less important than the needs of others. We put our needs and wants aside by making choices that don’t support us. We say to ourselves that; it’s just one time, it won’t take too long, it’s not that big of a deal. Well, guess what, It is a big deal.
Everytime you say this to yourself, you’re making a choice to ignore what your heart, your mind and what your gut feeling is telling you. Saying no doesn’t mean you are rude, selfish or unkind, these are all beliefs that are unhelpful and make it hard to say “no”.
Saying “yes” to something you don’t want to do brings no good to you.
Benefits of “Say No”
The stress factor: saying yes to things you don’t want to do is a major stressor for your mind and body. It causes tension, anxiety, pains, aches and often results in less to no sleep. It’s unquestionably not the lone cause of stress, but it is the easiest to control.
Get rid of toxic people: You don’t really need these people in your lives, they are the advantage takers, the complainers, the gossip-mongers, the responsibility-duckers. They are master manipulators who pressure you to say “yes” by using guilt and manipulation. If you consistently say “no” to them, they’ll eventually leave and look for someone else, a weaker target.
Save-Time: We already don’t have enough time in our hands to do our own tasks. Don’t let somebody else edit your to-do list or disrupt your set agenda for the day. It’s important to use your time in ways that honour your priorities, helps you reach your goals and serves your needs. You decide what’s worth your time and what’s not.
Gain Strength: Every time you say “no” to others, you’re saying “yes” to yourself. You’re gaining back control to your life by not allowing others to make decisions for you. You gain confidence when you stand firm and honour your boundaries. Surprisingly, you also gain respect for yourself and from others.
Enjoy Life more: Life is more enjoyable when you start saying “no” to things that drain you.
Saying “no” might probably be uncomfortable in the beginning but it gets easier if you do it more often. We squirm at the thought of disappointing others even if we’re letting ourselves down in the process. Your time, your needs, your goals and whatever is important in your life have to be your decision.